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Steph & Dom solve your sex, love & life troubles: An old flame has got back in touch but I’m married

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TV’s Steph and Dom Parker, 52 and 54, draw on their 21 years of marriage to solve your relationship problems . . . 

Q I’m 46 and happily married to my husband, the father of my 13-year-old daughter.

Three weeks ago an old friend from university got in touch over Facebook.

We hadn’t spoken in years, but I used to have a massive crush on him. After university he went off to be a lawyer. 

We grew apart over the years and lost touch. But he has recently divorced. He said he’s reconnecting with people and had thought of me; he was wondering what I’d ended up doing with my life.

An anonymous reader, 46, who has got in touch with an old friend from university got in touch over Facebook who has asked to meet up (file image)

An anonymous reader, 46, who has got in touch with an old friend from university got in touch over Facebook who has asked to meet up (file image)

An anonymous reader, 46, who has got in touch with an old friend from university got in touch over Facebook who has asked to meet up (file image)

I was surprised, but also pleased. We’ve been messaging several times a day since, and he’s just asked if I would like to meet up. There is nothing wrong with meeting an old friend, but what if I’m playing with fire?

I mentioned it to my husband and he didn’t seem bothered. He doesn’t know how I used to feel about him. What shall I do?

STEPH SAYS: I think this is one problem in which we have to read between the lines. The reason I say that is you seem to be making a bit much out of this, and I wonder if you really are as happy in your marriage as you say.

Are you sure there’s not something wrong between you and your husband, and you don’t want to admit it?

You’re completely giddy at the thought of your university crush getting in touch, but how do you know he’s messaging you with a view to an affair?

The poor bloke is probably just lonely. Have you thought this through? He just got divorced. He’s likely lost most of his friends. That often happens — who gets the ‘joint’ besties is a question in many a split.

So it seems quite likely he has suddenly found himself without a social life and is reaching out to the pool of people he used to like partying with.

Steph (pictured with Dom) told the reader that she should tell her husband she used to have a crush on him

Steph (pictured with Dom) told the reader that she should tell her husband she used to have a crush on him

Steph (pictured with Dom) told the reader that she should tell her husband she used to have a crush on him 

That includes you. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it’s very possible you are one of the people, male and female, he’s made contact with. An interesting exercise would be to ask him who else he’s planning on meeting up with. If he reels off a list of old mates, then take note.

Without being cruel, I think it would be remiss of me not to point out that he may not have spent the last 20-odd years hankering after you. You are convinced he wants to see you for emotional reasons, but I think it’s quite likely it’s just social.

I think you’re captivated by the idea of young love, but it’s just that — an idea. It’s like you’ve got yourself caught up in a fairytale narrative; that you were some mousy thing in spectacles and now the Golden Boy is finally going to notice you.

For a moment, let’s imagine that’s true. If it is and you’re swept off your feet, what about your husband? Not to mention your poor daughter!

You’re turning this into a love story which doesn’t exist. And it seems to me you’ve written to us because you’re looking for permission to pick up the phone and say ‘Yes’. But I’m afraid I’m not going to say that.

You’re still holding a torch for him — do not shine it in your husband’s eyes. If you were to meet this bloke, you should do so with your husband, but it would only be fair to tell him you used to have a crush on him.

And, when it’s clear you still do have that crush, it’s going to hurt him. I don’t see why you would do that. If there are problems in your marriage, then face them and deal with them.

Marriages can be hard work, but don’t jeopardise your real relationship for a fictional fling.

DOM SAYS: You say you are happily married, and for that I say congratulations. It’s rather rare these days. And I’m delighted for you that you have a 13-year-old daughter. It seems you have been lucky in the lottery of life.

I have to say I’m slightly baffled as to why you want to upset the apple cart for someone you haven’t seen for 25 years. A quarter of a century is a long time. A lot of water has run under the bridge since you were university chums.

I understand he was an Adonis back then, and I’m sure he was charming, as well as popular and good fun, but that doesn’t mean he’s the same now. But you really shouldn’t care if he is — you are married, after all.

I recently met up with friends I haven’t seen for decades and, quite naturally, I took my wife with me. Why on earth would I not? I’m not a single man, and I wouldn’t want anyone to mistake me for one, either.

Dom (pictured) told the reader to unplug herself from the conversation and step away from the situation

Dom (pictured) told the reader to unplug herself from the conversation and step away from the situation

Dom (pictured) told the reader to unplug herself from the conversation and step away from the situation

If you were telling me you wanted to be friends and to take your husband, too, then I’d have no objection, but I’m afraid that’s not the case. What I think is happening here is that you are nostalgic for that intense feeling of young love — even unrequited young love can be a rush.

But it’s not real! You had a huge crush on this chap and now you’ve got a bad case of ‘coulda-woulda-shoulda’. You are living in fantasy land, but you must not allow this to damage your reality.

First, ask yourself, if he is so super duper, why is he divorced?

I suggest you try to get a grip on your feelings. First, ask yourself, if he is so super duper, why is he divorced?

Then, you must consider the fact that he didn’t pick you 25 years ago. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. If he didn’t want to go out with you at university, why would that be different now? It is possible that, recently divorced and feeling a little bruised, he is seeking out those who knew him in his glory days.

He wants to rekindle his view of himself as a young buck, as much, if not more, than he is looking to rekindle a former flame.

Have you thought that he might have known about your crush? Perhaps he is simply seeking the rush of warmth that comes from the knowledge that someone else hankers after you.

Why would you risk the feelings of your husband, and the fate of your daughter, to flatter a man you once knew?

I think you must stop this childish fluttering.

I strongly suggest you unplug yourself from the conversation. Step away from the keyboard, delete him and don’t meet up with him.

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Kate Middleton misses conservation awards due to ‘the children’

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The Duchess of Cambridge has been forced to cancel an event this evening due to an undisclosed matter relating to her children.

Prince William and Kate had been due to meet the finalists of the Tusk Conservation awards and the attend the ceremony in London this evening.

But, this afternoon, Kensington Palace suddenly cancelled Kate’s attendance at this evening’s event.

A spokesman said the cancellation was ‘due to the children’ but declined to give further details. It is not believed the issue is to do with the health of the children.

The Duchess of Cambridge on Monday. Kensington Palace announced today she will not be attending an event this evening 'due to the children'

The Duchess of Cambridge on Monday. Kensington Palace announced today she will not be attending an event this evening 'due to the children'

The Duchess of Cambridge on Monday. Kensington Palace announced today she will not be attending an event this evening 'due to the children'

The Duchess of Cambridge on Monday. Kensington Palace announced today she will not be attending an event this evening 'due to the children'

The Duchess of Cambridge on Monday. Kensington Palace announced today she will not be attending an event this evening ‘due to the children’

William is pictured at last year's event. He said the awards 'mean a great deal to me personally'

William is pictured at last year's event. He said the awards 'mean a great deal to me personally'

William is pictured at last year’s event. He said the awards ‘mean a great deal to me personally’

Kate, whose children Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis are six, four and one respectively, did however join William in meeting the finalists this afternoon.

A Kensington Palace spokesman said: ‘The Duchess is no longer able to attend the Tusk awards due to the children.

‘She will still however meet finalists at a tea at Kensington Palace this afternoon. The duke as patron will attend both.’

The Duke will present three awards before delivering a short speech.

The Tusk Conservation Awards are to honour people who have worked to protect wildlife and habitats in Africa.

William has previously said of the event: ‘These awards which mean a great deal to me personally, play a huge part in our mission to preserve Africa’s precious wildlife for its people.

‘It is vital that we recognise the dedication of these unsung heroes and the bravery of rangers risking their lives, day and night, on conservation’s frontline. We all owe them a huge debt of gratitude.’

Tonight’s ceremony is being held at the Empire Cinema in London’s Leicester Square.

The Cambridges, pictured in Norfolk in autumn 2018. The children are not said to be unwell

The Cambridges, pictured in Norfolk in autumn 2018. The children are not said to be unwell

The Cambridges, pictured in Norfolk in autumn 2018. The children are not said to be unwell

Kate and William looked in good sorts when they attended the Royal Variety Performance on Monday night 

The royal couple attended the Palladium Theatre in London for the annual event. 

The duchess was presented with a posy of flowers by Lydia Jones, 10. while a programme was presented to William by Oliver Hinton, eight. 

 

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David Walliams’ books have now made more than £100m

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David Walliams has made more than £100 million in sales from his children’s books, after selling 25 million copies since his first was published in 2008.  

The comedian and former Little Britain star, 48, has written 23 books with his latest one set to hit the shelves next week. 

According to Nielsen BookScan, he has surpassed the £100 million sales mark, joining an exclusive club that includes authors likes JK Rowling and Jacqueline Wilson. 

Walliams looks set to score his third Christmas number one next month, with his new novel, The Beast of Buckingham Palace. 

David Walliams has made generated more than £100 million from his 23 children's books, selling more than 25 million copies

David Walliams has made generated more than £100 million from his 23 children's books, selling more than 25 million copies

David Walliams has made generated more than £100 million from his 23 children’s books, selling more than 25 million copies

His new novel, The Beast of Buckingham Palace, is coming out next week

His new novel, The Beast of Buckingham Palace, is coming out next week

The Midnight Gang was Christmas number one in 2016

The Midnight Gang was Christmas number one in 2016

His new novel, The Beast of Buckingham Palace (left), is coming out next week. It is tipped to be the Christmas number one, following in the footsteps of 2016’s The Midnight Gang (right) and 2017’s Bad Dad

He has written 16 story books and seven picture books with his first five believed to have earned him £15 million.  

And since the start of 2019, the Britain’s Got Talent judge has already raked in more than £13 million with the publication of books Fing in February, and The World’s Worst Teachers in June. 

They are the bestselling Children’s books of the year so far. 

His previous Christmas number ones are 2016’s The Midnight Gang, and 2017’s Bad Dad.

His literary style has been compared to Roald Dahl, with the legendary author’s illustrator Quentin Blake drawing for him.  

Since the start of 2019, the Britain's Got Talent judge has already raked in more than £13 million with the publication of books Fing in February, and The World’s Worst Teachers in June

Since the start of 2019, the Britain's Got Talent judge has already raked in more than £13 million with the publication of books Fing in February, and The World’s Worst Teachers in June

His literary style has been compared to Roald Dahl, with the legendary author's illustrator Quentin Blake drawing for him

His literary style has been compared to Roald Dahl, with the legendary author's illustrator Quentin Blake drawing for him

Since the start of 2019, the Britain’s Got Talent judge has already raked in more than £13 million with the publication of books Fing (left) in February, and The World’s Worst Teachers in June

The World’s Worst Teachers was released in June

The World’s Worst Teachers was released in June

The World's Worst Children was released in 2016

The World's Worst Children was released in 2016

He released The World’s Worst Teachers in June (left) and The World’s Worst Children (right) in 2016 

Mr Blake described Walliams’ first children’s book as funny and surprisingly sensitive.   

After releasing a new novel every autumn, the TV personality’s fan-base of eight to 12-year-old’s grew steadily. 

His second book, Mr Stink, won the People’s Book Prize in 2009 and Gangsta Granny in 2011 became his first book to secure the number one spot in children’s fiction.

It is also his most successful to date and spent 22 weeks at the top of the charts, selling more than 1.3 million copies in paperback alone in the UK.  

The Beast of Buckingham Palace is expected to boost his yearly income even more.  

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Woman spent eight years searching for her RAF sergeant sister, 45

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Jacqueline Tennant, 45, disappeared in Majorca in 2007 and her remains were found in 2015. An inquest has now suggested that she died after a head-first fall

Jacqueline Tennant, 45, disappeared in Majorca in 2007 and her remains were found in 2015. An inquest has now suggested that she died after a head-first fall

Jacqueline Tennant, 45, disappeared in Majorca in 2007 and her remains were found in 2015. An inquest has now suggested that she died after a head-first fall

A woman spent eight years searching for her RAF sergeant sister before her body was eventually found at the bottom of a ravine in a remove Majorcan mountain. 

Jacqueline Tennant, 45, disappeared while hiking in the Tramuntana mountains during a day off from her job at a beach resort on October 9 2007.  

A major search was launched but Ms Tennant was not found until eight years later when her bones were discovered alongside a backpack, watch and phone. 

The inquest into Ms Tennant’s death finally concluded on Thursday with the coroner ruling she had accidentally fallen head-first down the treacherous mountainous region, suffering fractures to her skull, arm, foot and other areas of her body. 

Although the Monique told the coroner she was grateful her sister had been found, she said her mind was still not at rest because she did not know how she died. 

A coroner heard that when the 45-year-old failed to return after going on a hike, her sister flew out to look for Jacqueline, and then spent the next eight years trying to find her sister’s body.

Monique trekked alongside volunteers in the Majorcan mountains, combing through the walking trails in an attempt to find Jacqueline, an inquest heard.

The inquest was told how Monique had personally interrogated staff from the First Choice holiday firm in C’an Picafort, a beach resort on the island’s east coast, where her sister had worked, and made requests for Scotland Yard to investigate their alibis. 

Speaking at the inquest, Monique said: ‘Every time I went out there, I thought I would find her so I am grateful that she did not suffer. According to the pathologist it would have been swift.’

Recalling visiting the scene, Monique told the inquest: ‘The area that the remains were found was uncharted territory as far as I was concerned. 

‘Even the police officers wanted to stop and ask if I wanted to go any further because it was treacherous. We came away with cuts and bruises.’

The RAF sergeant had been hiking in the Tramuntana mountains, with the person who found her remains having walked for 90 minutes off the path before coming upon them (file picture)

The RAF sergeant had been hiking in the Tramuntana mountains, with the person who found her remains having walked for 90 minutes off the path before coming upon them (file picture)

The RAF sergeant had been hiking in the Tramuntana mountains, with the person who found her remains having walked for 90 minutes off the path before coming upon them (file picture)

In August 2015 Monique had been contacted by police in Croydon who told her a doctor in Majorca had found remains while out walking to meet his son for a hike.

Speaking of her interactions with the authorities involved in the search, Monique said: ‘There was not as much help as I would have liked. Maybe it would not have taken me 10 years later.

‘But I am so grateful for any help I had along the way and although I was suspicious of this doctor, I was so grateful that he came across her because many people are lost and their family never find them.

‘The question of how she died is still there.’

Ms Tennant, who was single and lived in Lower Earley, near Reading, Berkshire had been intending to return to the RAF, where she was a sergeant.

She was on a gap year or sabbatical because she wanted to learn more about swimming and diving while she taught children. 

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