I have an intense and busy job working in a PR firm where I have been for the past five years – there is no ‘chilled’ day at work.
I know my boss is happy with my performance, the feedback has always been good. But for the past year I really feel like asking to take a pay cut in return for working fewer hours – my teenagers need me around more.
My husband says this is career suicide and I should just ask to cut my hours and not mention pay. What do you think?
Money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal replies: I would love to understand more about why your husband thinks that mentioning pay would make it worse.
Does he imagine that asking for a pay reduction will send a signal about a decreased commitment to the job? It is ‘fair’ to the employer who should only pay your for the hours that your work, and for you, because foregoing the money releases you of the duty to deliver as much work as if the job were full-time.
Not mentioning pay is risky because you want to make it clear that by contributing fewer hours to work, you shouldn’t be expected to contribute the same amount of work, Vicky Reynal replies
But surely asking to work fewer hours could also be sending this message (and we can talk about managing this risk).
Is he thinking that a pay reduction will keep you stuck on a lower salary? This is unlikely since it’s pro-rata to the hours so if you returned to your regular working day the salary would reflect that.
Or is your husband thinking that it’s best to give the impression that you’d be doing the same job but in fewer hours? Let’s assume it’s the latter.
It sounds to me like you have assessed your priorities and have decided that time with your children is more important at this stage in your life.
By foregoing the salary equivalent to your current hours, you are buying yourself time with the kids.
Not mentioning pay is risky because you want to make it clear that by contributing fewer hours to work, you shouldn’t be expected (and you wouldn’t want to be expected) to contribute the same amount of work, especially because you told me that work is intense and busy enough as it is.
There are jobs in which you could squeeze five days’ worth of deliverables in four days, in which case a pay decrease may not have to be part of the arrangement, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case for you.
Not mentioning pay would also give the wrong impression, that you are asking for flexible hours (ie: you will squeeze in the hours around the children, working evenings or weekends) rather than an actual reduction in how much time you want to be working.
Your pay should reflect that.
It is ‘fair’ to the employer who should only pay your for the hours that your work, and for you, because foregoing the money releases you of the duty to deliver as much work as if the job were full-time.
In terms of the impact on your career, there are some risks that are inherent in your choice. For example, if they are looking for someone to promote it would be understandable if your boss were more inclined to choose someone who is more available and shows that work is their top priority.
But you can think of things that are within your control and could minimise the feared impact on your career.
You can make a conscious effort to contribute more to work in ways other than hours (more ideas, more energy, more initiative) to show your continued commitment as well as your gratitude for their flexibility in granting your request.
It is important to discuss expectations on both sides as you negotiate the arrangement, showing a cooperating stance and listening to your employer’s concerns.
Money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal
If you are a people-pleaser it might be difficult not to fall into the trap of agreeing to deliver the same amount of work, or generally promise more than you would be ready to and then have to face resentment if you end up working similar hours – for a reduced pay.
You need to walk into the conversation being conscious that you might face some pushback and that you will have to negotiate some boundaries while being careful not to yield too much.
Consider what would happen if you didn’t say anything about pay and your employer didn’t either: it might feel like a victory in the short term (because you are getting away with working fewer hours for the same amount of money) but you might start feeling the pressure to do the same job in less time, plus you’d be in a difficult position to push back on any additional work.
If you think that the reduced pay will not overwhelm you with financial anxiety, I would consider following your desire to be with your children.
Considering how many people look back on life wishing they had spent more time with family and less at work, the question you need to ask yourself is: do you want to prioritise money and career progression over time with your children at this point in your life?
Do you have a question for Vicky Reynal? Email vicky.reynal@dailymail.co.uk.
Vicky’s book Money On Your Mind: The Psychology Behind Your Financial Habits, by Bonnier books, £16.99 is out now.
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